Stealing From The Dead

Woman Accused of Stealing From Dead Man

JACKSONVILLE, FL — A Jacksonville woman is facing charges for stealing from a dead man.

Police say back in November, 59-year old Paul Douglas was found dead in his home on the Northside.

I’m waiting to hear if she did something with the body, or just let it rot.

Published in: on April 24, 2008 at 8:30 pm  Leave a Comment  

Gangsta Grandma Video

Gangster Video of Senile Grandmother Brandishing Gun Leads to Teen’s Arrest

LAKE WORTH, Fla. — An 18-year-old man is charged with elder abuse for having his senile grandmother wear a black mask and hold a handgun for a video on thug life in Palm Beach County, authorities said.
The 85-year-old woman is seen and heard on the video threatening to shoot “all the pigs,” referring to police.

Well, on the plus side, how many 18 year olds do you know that spend any quality time with their grandmothers?

Published in: on April 23, 2008 at 10:30 pm  Leave a Comment  

…This Is Your Brain On Drugs

Man Arrested After Pumping Gas Into Imaginary Car

LOUISVILLE, Ky. – A Frankfort man was arrested on drug trafficking charges early Sunday morning after he was reportedly pumping gas into an imaginary vehicle. According to the arrest report, Metro Police arrived at a gas station at First and Jefferson streets in Louisville and immediately smelled marijuana coming from Joshua L. Moore, who station clerks contend was filling up an imaginary vehicle.

I hope at least it was a nice imaginary car. Shame that he didn’t try to evade police in it – think of the dash-cam video.

Published in: on April 22, 2008 at 10:00 pm  Leave a Comment  

Babys In Gangs?

Dad arrested after dispute over which gang right for baby

When Mom wears one set of gang colors and Dad wears another, conflict over how to raise the baby can cause irreconcilable differences.

At least that’s what happened for one Commerce City couple.

It’s normal for parents to want the best for their kids. It’s also normal for parents to disagree about what they think is best for their kids. This isn’t normal.

Published in: on April 11, 2008 at 10:13 pm  Leave a Comment  

If You Won’t Give Me Money, I’ll Take Two Soft Tacos…

Kalispell attempted robbery leads to charges

A Kalispell man will now be facing a slew of charges after allegedly attempting to rob Taco Johns with a replica of a Glock tactical pistol.

Officials with the Kalispell Police Department say that Shane Roe, 24, entered the business on Monday afternoon, displayed his pistol and then demanded free food.

The employee refused, and then Roe is said to have laughed and demanded money from the register. The employee refused again.

Roe then placed an order, paid for it and sat down with his female companion.

Didn’t anyone ever tell him to be nice to the teens who handle food? I wonder what kind of ‘special sauce’ his taco had on it.

Published in: on April 3, 2008 at 1:21 am  Leave a Comment  

Can’t We Just Convert Them To Fertilizer?

Chicago’s Dumbest Thief

CHICAGO (WBBM) — CHICAGO — Chicago Police say no one could make this story up…

18-year-old Ruben Zarate, entered a muffler shop in the 2600 block of North Laramie Avenue yesterday and declared a robbery. He allegedly waved a gun around and demanded money, according to police.

When he was told the money was in a safe and that the manager who knew how to open it was not there, the suspect had a brilliant idea; at least he thought it was brilliant.

He gave the shop employees his cell phone number and asked them to call him when the manager arrived so he could open the safe for him.

He really thought they’d call him when the manager came back. Hopefully the cops called him and had him return to *surprise* arrest him. I’d love to see the video of that.

Man who raced in high heels for Hannah Montana tickets was too injured to work

HARTFORD, Conn. – Prosecutors say a video shows a Connecticut correction officer running a 40-yard-dash in women’s clothing and high heels – at a time he had claimed he was too injured to work.

Scammers never think they’ll get caught. I’ve known a few, and they’re amazed that anyone could ever figure out their plan. Most of them haven’t appeared publicly on video though….

Just released from lockup, man tries carjacking

The Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office called him stupid Tuesday. But Frank Singleton could almost write the book on how to turn a misdemeanor into a felony without ever leaving the jail’s parking lot

He immediately ran out into the visitor’s parking lot and, in an apparent effort to get away as quickly as possible, tried to carjack a 2006 Nissan 350Z, Miller said.
He pushed Lapierre out of the way, grabbed the keys and jumped into the Nissan. But it was a manual transmission and Singleton couldn’t operate it, Miller said.

Not only did he try to steal a car in the police station parking lot, but he tried to steal one that he couldn’t even drive. The only thing that would have made it even funnier is if he tried to steal a cruiser.

Published in: on March 26, 2008 at 10:04 pm  Leave a Comment  

Bright Crooks Don’t Get Caught

Cops: Teen Tried to Steal Cruiser’s Gas

LAMBERTVILLE, Mich. (AP) — A Monroe County sheriff’s detective on a stakeout to catch an arsonist arrested the suspect as he tried to steal gas from the officer’s cruiser. Officers were placed around homes currently under construction after police had gotten two arson complaints within the past week.

It is truly a shame sometimes that we can’t add a charge of felonious stupidity to whatever other charges are filed.  I mean, really.  How many functional brain cells does it take to figure out that siphoning gas from a police car, with the cop inside, is a BAD idea?  Maybe he inhaled a bit too much of the fumes from the last time he stole gas.

Published in: on March 21, 2008 at 10:01 pm  Leave a Comment  

Tried To Rob A What???

Two teens tried to rob police station

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. (AP) – Two teenage boys are under arrest after they attempted to rob a police station.

Port St. Lucie police say the two boys – ages 12 and 14 – walked into the lobby of a regional station Wednesday afternoon and demanded money from an aide behind the glass enclosure.

Just when you thought that crooks couldn’t get stupider, along come these two kids.  I’m not sure what they were trying to acquire by robbing the police station, but they’re lucky they weren’t shot.

Published in: on March 16, 2008 at 1:56 am  Leave a Comment  

Wannabe Bank Robber Forgot About ‘Bankers Hours’

Masked man botches bank robbery

LIBERTY, Pa. — A shotgun-wielding man wearing an orange ski mask was arrested today after police said he tried to rob a bank that had already closed for the afternoon.

It is possible to rob a bank when they are closed.  Many have done it with some degree of ‘success’.  Usually it involves stealth, tools, and a well-thought-out plan.  This idiot tried to hold up a bank, which has also been done ‘successfully’ in the past.  I really wish there were video of him, with mask and shotgun, tugging on the bank door.  It sounds like a good scene for a ‘Police Squad’ movie.

Published in: on March 15, 2008 at 12:25 am  Leave a Comment